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Cool​/​Lame

by Hayley and the Crushers

/
  • Streaming + Download

    Includes unlimited streaming via the free Bandcamp app, plus high-quality download in MP3, FLAC and more.
    Purchasable with gift card

      $10 USD  or more

     

  • Compact Disc (CD) + Digital Album

    Cool or lame? You decide! 11 new tracks from your fave glitter trash punks.

    Includes unlimited streaming of Cool/Lame via the free Bandcamp app, plus high-quality download in MP3, FLAC and more.
    ships out within 2 days

      $10 USD or more 

     

  • Record/Vinyl + Digital Album

    That's right - Hayley and the Crushers have grown up and graduated from cassettes to records! Get this super limited edition LP on yellow vinyl (Eccentric Pop Release #44) and bop till ya drop! Features all 11 tracks with "Cool" and "Lame" side.

    Includes unlimited streaming of Cool/Lame via the free Bandcamp app, plus high-quality download in MP3, FLAC and more.
    ships out within 2 days
    edition of 500  4 remaining

      $20 USD or more 

     

  • Cassette + Digital Album

    Oh, how retro. Our second album Cool/Lame on yellow cassette!

    Includes unlimited streaming of Cool/Lame via the free Bandcamp app, plus high-quality download in MP3, FLAC and more.
    ships out within 2 days
    edition of 50 

      $10 USD or more 

     

  • Cool/Lame Test Pressing
    Record/Vinyl + Digital Album

    Be part of Crusherverse history! Black vinyl test pressing (1 of 5). Signed by Hayley and Dr. Cain. Comes with one-of-a-kind collage jacket crafted just for you! One per customer please!

    Includes unlimited streaming of Cool/Lame via the free Bandcamp app, plus high-quality download in MP3, FLAC and more.

    Sold Out

1.
10-39 01:47
Baby change the station I’m tired of waiting stuck in the slow lane as the cars roll by I want some movement a little action something more than these little distractions on no, no more standing by oh No, more wasting my time 10-39 Let’s shake the bottle let’s hit the throttle how many days do you think you got baby? If you wanna taste it You gotta chase it The world is bigger than what your momma told you Now, no more standing by Those dreams caught in your eye 10-39 Baby change the station I’m tired of waiting stuck in the slow lane as the cars roll by I want some movement a little action something more than these little distractions on no, no more standing by oh No, more wasting my time 10-39
2.
Shutters drawn, a mowed lawn The driveway's empty save for a cat What does he know that I don't? I think it might that Shiny faces Hide wherever we go Tiny spaces Fit together, a nestling doll A nesting doll A nesting doll A nesting doll Oh! What are these small lives? Who walks these streets at night? Who lives inside this house, is it full of dusty skeletons? When did our dreaming quiet? When did we say that fine is fine? What are these small lies that keep us in the dark? Ooh, Ah Ooh, Ah Ooh, Ah These beige walls and new cars Empty prizes, never-ending game Recycle our secrets Splayed naked underneath a sheet of decay Our blank faces hide wherever we go Tiny spaces fit together a nesting doll A nesting doll A nesting doll A nesting doll Oh! What are these small lives? Who walks these streets at night? Who lives inside this house, is it full of dusty skeletons? When did our dreaming quiet? When did we say that fine is fine? What are these small lies that keep us in the dark?
3.
Bad girls always stay The good ones go away The rad girls entertain but they're never seen again Never seen again Hey girl well you're way out, I catch it My kind's not your kind, I admit it Is it alright if I start out running? If you're a tree, then you need climbing I'd rather be a little bit lonely Than wishing I was and unhappy It's alright cuz they'll always be love You're the girl that I always dreamed of Bad girls always stay The good ones go away The rad girls entertain but they're never seen again Never seen again
4.
Arms crossed in the back, look so tough head to toe in all black Don't smile, don't dance Your eyes roll every time you hear the chants What's that, so broke? You just bought yourself a pack of new smokes Hardcore, normcore, so bored why don't you go home Cool is the new lame Next band, swipe left, unfollow block and unfriend Who's hot? What's next? Selfie scroll to find the best pic What's that? So bored. They were way better on their first tour No wave, new wave, no way, get outta my way Cool is the New Lame
5.
Take my hand if you wanna we'll go down to Tijuana Outside the sidewalk's getting hotter And the rumors catching fire Hear em whisper in the homeroom (all over town) See em pointing on the playground (all over town) Keep em guessing if you gotta (all over town) I'm on a permanent vacation If you wanna come with me Slip out of captivity Jump into the blue and green We'll go We'll go We'll go Oh We don't have to stay forever A couple days and you'll feel better Under the palm trees we seek refuge To see the city in the rearview If you wanna come with me Slip out of captivity Jump into the blue and green We'll go We'll go We'll go Oh We'll go! We'll go! We'll go! Oh!
6.
I don't buy new shoes I wear the left one out and then the right one too If you wanna throw down a couple dollars to cruise I'll take you down to the swap meet Sunday Polyester, faded denim, it's not the journey it's the destination Bloodshot eyes, sunglasses, you might find nothing or some conversation Conversation... The streets are filled with trash and I like it Black and white photographs in my locket if you seek you shall find and you'll never know what you're missing It could be right there in front of your eyes Polyester, faded denim, it's not the journey it's the destination Bloodshot eyes, sunglasses, you might find nothing or some conversation Conversation The streets are filled with trash and I like it Black and white photographs in my locket if You seek you shall find and you'll never know what you're missing It could be right there in front of your eyes Ooh, Ooh, Ooh Ooh, Ooh yeah Ba-da-de-da-dum
7.
Lost in a world that's torn apart Mutually assured destructive hearts Freezing in the fallout of your love Mistrust has no half-life Radiation roses, acid rain Sitting in the bunker counting cans again You and me and no one else forever Flipping skipping records Is this the end of our world? Scour the landscape for missing parts You can't jimmy rig my heart If we both dig down real deep Before the blitz and the WWIII Fire in the sky ash all around How could we know we'd burn the whole thing down? Unstable glances lit the fuse This is not a test drill This is not a test drill! Is this the end of our world? Scour the landscape for missing parts You can't jimmy rig my heart If we both dig down real deep Before the blitz and the WWIII We could find some peace
8.
Lobotomy 02:02
Lobotomy, lobotomy, lobotomy, lobotomy! DDT did a job on me Now I am a real sickie Guess I'll have to break the news That I got no mind to lose All the girls are in love with me I'm a teenage lobotomy Slugs and snails are after me DDT keeps me happy Now I guess I'll have to tell 'em That I got no cerebellum Gonna get my Ph.D. I'm a teenage lobotomy Lobotomy, lobotomy, lobotomy, lobotomy! DDT did a job on me Now I am a real sickie Guess I'll have to break the news That I got no mind to lose All the girls are in love with me I'm a teenage lobotomy
9.
Parking structure girl All I wanted was a little validation Parking structure girl Why can't you have a simple human conversation? Meet me at the station wagon I'll be eating ice-cream sandwiches too Listen to the Ramones, take off those old headphones You know that there's a world here for you And you'll see More than concrete Parking structure girl Enclosed in glass like a scientific specimen Parking structure girl Five days a week it's like I'm paying for admission Your skin is pale, is your head empty? You know you should go back to charm school Take it from me there's a lot more to be than a county paid working class stooge And you'll see more than concrete Parking Structure Girl Parking Structure Girl Parking Structure Girl It's too dark and dreary in here Make a date don't wait till next year Vitamin D is a serious thing Come with me we're going to the beach
10.
Don't be the last one to dance if you got the feeling Don't be the one to break her heart be the one to steal it In the dark, sight's on you, feel your body reeling You hear it, white noise No threat level red No threat level red Not saying it's the best idea if you got the chance, you take it Load it up, shoot it down No hesitation Those ghosts fill up your head exorcise the spirit Paralyzed by a fangless viper No threat level red No threat level red Don't be the last one to dance if you got the feeling Don't be the one to break her heart be the one to steal it In the dark, sight's on you, feel your body reeling You hear it, white noise No threat level red No threat level red
11.
Incense black paint That girl's got a dark witchy way Hemlock nightshade Hollyhock blood straight from the vein Straight from the Neurotica Neurotica Neurotica Neurotica Red wine, white sage Rat blood keeps the power at bay Struggle in vain Your heart is lost to the fray Lost to the Neurotica Neurotica Neurotica Neurotica Take a lock of hair and burn it Burry the stone when the full moon's turning Down by the bus stop the strays are restless Under the spell of the teen enchantress You're gonna pay for this Incense black paint That girl's got a dark witchy way... ; )

about

Hayley and the Crushers has already sent a chlorinated wave of electricity across the West Coast. Now, the San Luis Obispo, CA trio is ready to introduce the entire world to their wet and wild brand of "poolside glitter trash." Cool/Lame,"released on 9/28/18 on Eccentric Pop Records is proudly hip, square, and full of reverb-soaked spunk.

The band's 2016 full length "Jewel Case" has been applauded by Razorcake and Pork magazines for its "new oldies sound" reminiscent of the Go Gos, drive-in movies, and teenage hijinx.

The trio's syrupy garage-tinged pop has been descried as "like Bazooka Joe bubblegum stuck to the bottom of your combat boot," and front woman/guitarist Hayley Crusher is akin to Gidget with budget model Gretsch.

Call them a "demonic version of the Go Gos" or just plain fun, and you'd be equally accurate. With wild stage antics and warm soda pop pumping through their veins, Hayley and the Crushers is a kind of frantic fun that can only have come from California's Crusherverse.

credits

released September 28, 2018

Recorded by Bart Thurber, House of Faith Studios, Oakland, CA
Mastered by John Rogers
Guitar: Hayley Cain
Bass: Reid Cain
Drums: Gabriel Olivarria
Additional percussion: Chris Maneri

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Hayley and the Crushers Detroit, Michigan

One part pop, one part poison, all “poolside glitter punk,” Hayley and the Crushers are a tsunami of bold, bad girl power. Anointed as “the naked embodiment of power pop punk” by New Wave icon Josie Cotton, the Crushers have skipped the pupa stage in favor of a more dramatic comic book-style metamorphosis. Enter: Modern Adult Kicks (9/13/22), their most ambitious and self-possessed album to date. ... more

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